Rolivia One Shots
by Marchitayska
Summary: I'm fed up of the number of random story ideas I have that I don't want to be more than maybe one or two chapters so I've decided I'm going to stick them all here. All Rolivia pairing one way or another. R&R please and follow for updates ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Way Down We Go**

 **Category: Not friendship, not romance, something in between, ish**

 **Rating: T**

 **Words: 974**

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There was always something special about detective Olivia Benson. The way she composed herself, the way she always seemed to carry herself, the grace, the elegance, the strength. Amanda Rollins knew it, she saw it. The older brunette was the type of person she could only hope and pray to become, only dream of being in a relationship with. So dream she did. Unable to stop her thoughts wandering to her occasional partner when they worked cases together, when they were in the squad room, all the time in fact. It never appeared to matter where she was or who she was with, Olivia Benson was the only thing, only person occupying her thoughts. Night and day, twenty four seven.

It had become somewhat of an obsession in fact. The blonde fully consumed by everything detective Benson. But she'd resigned herself, a long time ago, to being nothing more than colleagues with the woman of her dreams. Olivia had always dated men, slimy, selfish men at that. Men that didn't deserve her, didn't appreciate her, didn't treat her honourably. Not the way Amanda wanted to.

The blonde had been so preoccupied in her own little Benson world that she hadn't even realised the arrival of the rest of the squad that morning. Her pen hanging between her lips loosely as she stared off into nothingness.

"Hey Amanda." Fin had greeted. Getting nothing in response.

"Amanda." He tried again, still nothing.

"Amanda." He said a little louder, his hand resting on her shoulder.

"Huh? What?" Amanda startled, taking her pen from her mouth as if it were a cigarette.

"Are you Ok?" He asked quietly, all too aware of the blondes history of gambling and psychotic family members, and therefore demons that haunted her on an almost daily basis.

"Oh, Yeah, Sorry. I must have zoned out. I'm good." The blonde answered, stumbling over her words slightly whilst trying to brush off the concern written all over her partners face, and surveying the room for the only person she needed to lay her eyes on.

"You sure?" He asks her even quieter than before, aware of the bustling of their colleagues around them.

"Yeah Fin, I'm good. I promise." The younger woman tells him confidently, flashing him a smile before returning to the paperwork at hand. Trying to ground her mind into something other than the brunette that is currently nearby, sitting at her own desk, watching the exchange with interest. Their eyes had met momentarily before Amanda had dragged herself back to her hushed conversation with Fin.

Olivia had been much more accepting of her new colleagues in recent months, having finally come to terms with Elliot retiring, and not hearing a word from her partner of twelve years. They were solid detectives, she could see that, sometimes a little over eager to impress and downright stubborn, but good at their jobs nonetheless. But Amanda had seemed really spaced out and distant in recent months, seemingly unable to fully give her attention to anything. Always looking so deep in thought, or just not even in the room, like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was.

Sighing with relief, Amanda stacks her paperwork and turns off her computer. Having made it through an exceptionally slow day without drifting off too far into her own thoughts. Somehow keeping the daydreams she had had totally unsexual, something that takes rather a lot of effort and control.

"See you tomorrow guys." The blonde says as she throws her coat on and heads towards the elevator. Amanda hits the call button and pushes her hands deep into her pockets, once again lost in her own little world. The signal of the elevator arriving pulling her from her thoughts just long enough to get into the metal box and press the button for the ground floor.

"Amanda, wait up." Olivia calls, prompting the younger detective to hold the doors a second and allow the woman she's been pining after into the elevator with her.

Benson stands next to Amanda facing the doors, her hands buried deep in her pockets, only a small distance separating the two women's shoulder from touching.

"Where you going?" Olivia asks tentatively as the elevator begins it's slow journey to the ground floor.

"Uh, home Liv, it's been a slow day." The blonde responds a little surprised by the older woman's questions.

"Want to grab a drink?" The brunette asks, watching Amanda intently from the corners of her eyes.

"I don't know. Maybe?" Amanda responds. Suddenly unsure of herself. Of course she wants to spend time with Olivia, but the blonde and alcohol never ends with her not making a fool of herself.

"Maybe?" Liv asks her, her perfectly sculpted right eyebrow raised in surprise and confusion, having turned her head to properly look at the beautiful blonde beside her.

"You know Liv, me and alcohol aren't the best of friends. I tend to make stupid decisions when I drink." Amanda admits honestly, turning to face Olivia and stepping back to lean against the side of the elevator.

"What kind of 'stupid decisions' are we talking here?" Olivia asks somewhat playfully, a smirk pulling at the corner of her lips.

"The kind that could end us both in trouble." Amanda deadpans, not answering the question completely.

The elevator dings, announcing their arrival at the desired floor.

Olivia takes the step towards Amanda before she can escape, lowering her tone slightly before almost whispering to the blonde

"What if I want you to make 'stupid decisions' with me?" She utters before exiting the elevator, briefly leaving Amanda stunned into silence, unable to move for a couple of seconds before Olivia calls back.

"You coming then Rollins? Or not." The question snapping Amanda from her astonished state, and causing her to nearly run after the brunette.

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 **I love reviews ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Nah baby, you got me all wrong

Category: Semi-dramay Romance

Rating: T ish

Words: 1646

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Amanda and Olivia had been together three years, their relationship was far from perfect, but they were committed to each other, or so Olivia had thought. She had no reason not to trust Amanda, until she had come across the blonde shamelessly flirting with a younger uniformed officer at the scene of a crime two days prior, officer Clarke, as if she could forget that woman's name. Her long flowing brown locks, intense brown eyes, olive skin. She was like a younger version of the seasoned SVU leader. Since then, Lieutenant Benson had been unable to get the image of her girlfriend being unnecessarily touched by the younger woman, the way she had batted her eyelids when they spoke, the playful banter of their conversation from her head. Two days it had been plaguing her, and today just compounded on it.

Liv had had what could only be described as the worst day in the history of the world, and that was without even catching any new cases. The day had started with spilling piping hot coffee down her crisp white blouse, followed by a visit from chief Dodds regarding politics, an argument with her girlfriend over officer Clarke, that had resulted in a shouting match behind the closed door of her office, even though it could obviously be heard by the whole squad, mundane paperwork, and then as if all that wasn't bad enough, she had to play the political lieutenant she was and give a press conference about yet another serial rapist that had managed to elude them all over the last three months. It had honestly been the day from hell, so instead of going straight home with her girlfriend, she'd come to the bar across the street for a couple of beers to relax and unwind.

A few hours and four beers later, Olivia felt the beginnings of a buzz going on. Her phone had lit up on numerous occasions, messages from Amanda about what time she'd be home, where she was, who she was with. The brunette had chosen to respond to one an hour ago, letting her girlfriend know she was having a drink, alone and wouldn't be too much longer, and after that had put her phone face down on the bar, ignoring it's incessant vibrations, knowing full well it was just Amanda.

Half way through her fifth beer, the brunette made the conscious decision that this should be her last before she headed home. Not wanting to fully annoy her girlfriend, just needing some time to unwind.

"I haven't seen you here before." The woman said, causing Olivia to look up from the label she had been picking at on her bottle.

Olivia's eyes looked over the woman that had spoken to her, mid-length blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, clearly worked out. She was beautiful, and if she was single, Olivia wouldn't think twice about trying to take her home for the night.

"Haven't been here before." Olivia stated matter of factly, not wanting to seem rude, but not wanting to engage in conversation either.

"What brings you here, uh?" The woman asks, floundering for a name that the lieutenant hadn't given.

"Rough day. Olivia." Benson responded, reaching out her right hand to shake the woman's hand.

"Sarah." The blonde responded, shaking the foreoffered hand.

Olivia didn't bother to make any further conversation, returning to picking at the label of her beer bottle, occasionally swigging the amber liquid down.

"Can I get you another?" Sarah asked once Olivia had finished the bottle. What could one more hurt right? Now she was just putting off the inevitable of a very pissed off amanda.

"Sure." Olivia answered, half shrugging as she spoke.

Three more beers later, Olivia was a lot more relaxed, maybe even too relaxed. Sarah was obviously flirting with her, complementing her at every given opportunity. It was nice, just talking, having fun with a complete stranger. They'd leant a little about each other, the brunette not really delving into her personal life at all, not for any specific reason, other than the fact she was trying to forget the stress of the day. The brunette was slowly losing count of just how many bottles she had consumed.

"I need to use the bathroom, I'll be back." She told Sarah, standing shakily from her stool and wobbling on her legs slightly. The blonde grasped her elbow, gently supporting her so she didn't fall.

"You Ok there?" Sarah asked, Olivia just nodded in answer, before weaving her way to the back of the bar, trying to balance by stretching her arms out to her sides.

Amanda was definitely going to be angry by the time she got home, she thought to herself. She'd gone out to relax and ended up getting somewhat trashed, with a very attractive blonde real estate lawyer at that. Once she had finished in the toilet, Olivia splashed some cold water on her face, trying to ease the beer induced haze she was currently suffering from. As she was drying her face however, Sarah entered the restroom, standing with her back to the door, right foot planted on the solid wooden object hiding them from the outside world.

"Better?" Sarah asked, a look on her face that was almost predatory. The intensity of it made Olivia shiver.

"Yeah. I should get going." Olivia said meekly, knowing it's the truth but that the blonde was between her and the door.

Before the brunette had chance to think of a decent escape plan, the blonde woman had closed the distance between them. Trying to gauge the situation with foggy thoughts, Olivia turned from the sink to look at the woman in front of her, their eyes locking briefly. The blonde leant in to kiss her, an action that the lieutenant easily avoided by ducking her head.

"I'm sorry, I uh, I have a girlfriend." Olivia told her.

"Really?" The blonde asked, a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised, questioning the omission of this information earlier on in the evening without actually saying a word.

"Yeah. You got this all wrong, she's at home waiting for me." Olivia told her, her voice stronger this time. Sarah said nothing in return, clearly surprised.

Yes Amanda may have been flirting with officer Clarke, but until they had properly discussed it, Olivia was not going to be the kind of woman that cheated on her partner.

"I'm sure you would make somebody's night, but it isn't going to be mine. Sorry." Olivia said before manoeuvring smoothly around an almost shell-shocked Sarah, back to the bar. Quickly she gathered up her cell and purse, threw some crumpled bills down covering more than her drinks for the evening and headed out to hail a cab. She needed to get out of there, and she needed to get home.

Twenty minutes later, the brunette was fumbling with her keys, trying to negotiate the lock of the apartment she shared with her girlfriend to no avail. Eventually she gave up trying and knocked, hoping Amanda was still awake and would let her into their home.

"Liv, what the hell time do you call this?" The blonde said as she flung the door open.

"Uh, 11.30pm. I think." Olivia responded, squinting to see the watch face on her arm.

"Are you drunk?" Amanda asked, her tone softening slightly at the brunettes behaviour.

"Mhm." Olivia responded, stumbling over the threshold of their home and all but falling into her girlfriend's arms.

"How drunk?" Amanda asked, her expression drastically shorter than only a moment ago.

"Fairly." The lieutenant answered, bringing her mouth to the blondes neck.

"Did you at least have fun?" The blonde asked through a moan as Olivia continued to kiss her neck.

"I did. Sarah was flirting with me." Olivia said without giving her detective anything further on the subject. A few more seconds passed with Olivia skilfully working her lips along Amanda's neck before the blondes brain caught up.

Gently placing her hands on Olivia's shoulders, she pushed her girlfriend away enough to look at her and stop the distraction.

"Who's Sarah?" Amanda asked, suddenly feeling mildly angry, even though she knew she didn't have any right to be following the advances made by officer Clarke two days earlier.

"Just a woman I met in the bar, she tried to kiss me." Olivia responded nonchalantly.

"And what happened with Sarah Liv?" The blonde asked, trying to sound unphased by the admission that someone had been flirting with and making advances on her girlfriend, but her voice was laced with anger, jealousy.

"Nothing. I told her I have a girlfriend. What happened with officer Clarke Amanda?" Olivia fired back, feeling starkly less calm than only moments earlier.

"Nothing. I told her I have a girlfriend." Amanda spat straight back.

Of course tonight would be about that stupid incident with officer Clarke. Olivia normally wasn't a jealous person, but Amanda knew, something about her interaction with the younger brunette woman had riled her girlfriend.

"You really did that?" Olivia asked, not actually know since she'd taken herself away from watching the situation as quickly as she could.

"Yeah, she asked if I she could take me out sometime. I pointed towards you and said 'that's my girlfriend' told her thanks for the offer but I love you." Amanda recounted the conversation, fully explaining to her girlfriend. A silence falling between them for a second as Olivia's brain tried to absorb what she'd just been told.

"I love you Amanda." She finally said, a wide smile forming on her face.

"I love you too Liv, now come on, I need sleep to prepare myself for the hell that's going to be your hungover tomorrow." The blonde chuckled, carefully guiding her girlfriend towards the bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: People never change

Category: Mild Angst/Comfort

Rating: T, mild language

Words: 1292

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A typically long week for Amanda Rollins had come to an unusual end. The heated conversation that had finished her marginally successful day, ruining the semi good mood. Olivia Benson would always be one of the few people able to alter the blonde's

demeanour with just a few simple words. The words that had become stuck in her heard on this occasion, so small to a normal person, but of a huge magnitude to her. One tiny statement stuck on repeat in her mind…. "People never change"

Now that the blonde woman was home, her third bottle of beer in hand slouched on her couch, memories of the past came flying back. She liked to think she was a much better person than even just a year ago. She liked to think she had changed. Changed for the better.

 _"I'm not happy about any of this. I had to lie to Fin. I had to lie to Amaro. A woman was raped. Lieutenant Murphy swore that neither he nor you knew about that." Olivia Benson had berated her subordinate._

 _"And that's right, I didn't. There's no way I would've gone along with this if I had." Amanda defended herself. Desperately trying to justify her actions, even though she knew she didn't have a leg to stand on._

 _"Do you want to tell me how you wound up working undercover in a gambling club?" Benson asked. The one question Amanda had known was coming, the one that had an answer that would cost her everything._

 _"You already know. I fell behind at the club. They found out I was a cop and they used it as leverage. I just got lucky that, um Lieutenant Murphy was U.C., didn't I?" Amanda confirmed her bosses' suspicions sheepishly, without answering the question outright, hoping, praying that it was enough keep her her job._

 _"You know, Lieutenant Murphy may trust you. I don't. And if we weren't so short-staffed, I'd transfer you... today." Benson told the younger blonde detective, clearly disappointed with her. That had hurt more than the ass chewing in general._

 _"I deserve that. I don't know if I can get back into your good graces, but I'm gonna try, Sergeant." Amanda had told her older brunette boss._

 _"Okay. We're done here." Olivia affirmed, Amanda had made a move to leave the office, hesitating momentarily, wanting to apologise again, before deciding against is and leaving without another word._

Just over a year, that's how long it had been, since the undercover gambling sting with Declan Murphy, just over a year since Amanda had seriously jeopardized everything she'd worked so hard for within the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD. A year since that fateful conversation with her Sergeant that struck home just enough as to how close she had been to losing it all. All the hard work and effort to get where she was, nearly destroyed by her own actions, by her own addiction.

It was crazy just how much things had changed in that time. It was almost like their situation; their friendship had become something completely different by the time the Reese Taymor, Charles Patton case had come along. People change. The fact Olivia didn't seem to agree, only angered her.

 _"Amanda, what Patton did to you, you've been pushing down for years and if you don't deal with this now, it's gonna keep you trapped or stuck more than it already has." Olivia had told her, stating the obvious, as if Amanda wasn't already aware._

 _"Okay." The blonde had responded._

 _"You have an opportunity here." Benson has continued, almost desperately trying to get through to her._

 _"I've gone through it. You're only as sick as your secrets, and... and I'm going to meetings." Amanda defended. She always seemed to be defending her decisions in conversations with her boss._

 _"Yeah, for gambling. I know you don't like feeling sorry for yourself. I get it, but can you go back to that detective that you were five years ago and feel compassion for her?" Olivia asked._

 _"I walked into it. You know, I put myself into that position." Had been the response Amanda had given. She knew that wasn't totally true but at the same time, justifying it made the impact it had marginally smaller._

 _"You've got to stop blaming yourself. Amanda, you can move past this." Her sergeant had said, almost softly, almost in the same tone she used on their everyday victims. Something Amanda didn't think she deserved._

She had hopes that if nothing else, Olivia would see that she has changed. She has grown, Hell she's even dealt with some of her demons. All she wanted was for Olivia to see that. To be really seen by Olivia, not just as a pain in the ass detective, but as a human being. One that cared for the brunette very much at that.

**Knock Knock**

The firm knock on her front door had dragged Amanda from her self pity. Standing from her couch with a heavy sigh, the blonde aisles over to the door, swinging it open without checking the peep hole.

"What are _you_ doing here?" The blonde asks with anger.

"Amanda." Olivia Benson greets her. Trying to sound calm whilst being surprised at the blondes tone of voice.

"Seriously, you show up here now?" Amanda asks, not really caring that she is potentially pushing the woman she longs for acceptance for away.

"I uh," The brunette starts before being interrupted.

"You what? You wanted to make sure I knew again that people don't change. That I'll always be the messed up woman you met three years ago?" The sharpness of Amanda's tone beyond venomous.

"I'm sorry. Amanda, I." Olivia tries, only to be cut off again.

"You say people never change. That's bullshit. They do." Amanda fires at her. The anger of Olivia's comment having built up to boiling point over the last few hours since she left the precinct, now fuelled with alcohol as well.

"Really Amanda, I am..." Olivia starts, being interrupted for a third time.

"Sorry. Yeah, I heard you the first time Sergeant. But where do you get off? Making comments like that. Putting people down when all they're trying to do is prove that they're good enough? Good enough for this job, for this city, for your department, for _you_. When will you see that I have changed? When will you see..." Amanda ranted, clearly beyond pissed off, venting her full frustration over the week and the stupid comment Olivia had made, only stopping when Liv stepped out of the hallway of the apartment building, into Amanda's personal space. The brunettes lips meeting Amanda's in an intense but probative kiss.

"I, huh, wha?" Amanda stumbled, trying to find words a few seconds later. Trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened.

"I'm sorry." Olivia started, as soon as the words left her mouth, the blonde opened her mouth to start talking again, only for the older woman to raise her hand, placing her index finger to Amanda's lips.

"Wait, please." She said, earning a barely visible nod from Rollins.

"You have changed. Anyone with half a brain and a blindfold on could see that. You've been through so much and come out the other side a much stronger woman. When I said people don't change, I meant the kinds of people we deal with day in, day out. The rapists and murders. I could have made that clearer, so I'm sorry." Olivia told her detective, before carefully lowering her finger from the blondes lips, waiting silently for the next torrent of anger to spill from her mouth.

But it never came.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: For Seb

Category: Angst/Smut

Rating: M

Words: 2683

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Three hundred and twenty eight days, without being able to touch, kiss and hold the woman you are completely in love with. It had been a totally new level of hell. That, Amanda was sure of. She'd counted every single day since the day she walked away. Away from Olivia, away from Fin, away from her family.

Three hundred and twenty eight days. That's how many days it had been since Amanda had left the Manhattan branch of special victims unit without so much as a word. Following the disclosure of what had happened between herself and Deputy Chief Patton, the blondes whole world had come crashing down around her. Again.

She'd taken an immediate transfer. Choosing to get away from sex crimes all together. It was all hitting too close to home. It was causing her too much pain, too many flashbacks. Amanda had been lucky, she'd worked with Declan Murphy a year prior, nearly losing everything due to her gambling problem. He had saved her then, he was saving her now. He had accepted her request to join his vice squad, without hesitation.

Unable to take anymore, she'd left Olivia without a word, ignored her calls, her messages, her voicemails. She'd basically done an Elliot to the woman of her dreams, over her own issues and insecurities. Of course, she wouldn't be surprised if the brunette Sergeant now hated her, she'd deserve that. Hell, she'd deserve a punch in the face as soon as she set foot in the precinct, yet here she was, stood outside on the street, about to go and face the worst decision she'd ever made in her life.

Walking into the squad room, Amanda looks around, not much has changed. She keeps her head down as she makes her way to Olivia's office, she wants this to go easily. Even if she doesn't deserve it, even if she knows it isn't going to.

"Amanda." Fin says quietly to her as she's about to pass his desk. The blonde stops abruptly. She had been hoping to pass him by without being seen, she knows he is probably just as hurt as Olivia. She hadn't been fair to anyone.

"Fin." The blonde mutters quietly.

"Come with me." He says abruptly grabbing her elbow and guiding her towards an empty interrogation room.

"Fin, I'm sorry." Amanda says, eyes still glued to the floor.

"What the hell Amanda? What were you thinking? You left, without a word. You wouldn't return my calls. I just needed to know my partner was doing ok." He tells her, his voice raised. Fin had never been one to raise his voice, in the three years Amanda had worked with him, she'd learnt that quickly, she knew he was angry right now.

"Fin, I know. I'm sorry." She tells him again.

"You're sorry? You're sorry? Seriously Amanda. Don't worry about me, but do you know what you put Liv through? You know how Elliot left, you saw the pain she felt then. What do you think you leaving did to her?" He yells, not holding back his anger at all. Amanda deserved it all, she knew she did, and because of that she didn't try to explain. The truth is, she didn't have a reason.

"Fin. What's going on?" Olivia asks as she bursts through the side door of the interrogation room, suddenly causing Amanda's head to snap up.

"Liv." She says, the older brunette stunned into silence.

"Rollins here, thought it was ok to just show up after almost a year with no word." Fin fumes angrily.

"I'm sorry, Ok, I know it means nothing, but I'm sorry." Amanda yells, squaring up with her old partner.

"Both if you stop. Fin, give us a minute." Olivia tells him calmly, having somehow managed to wrap her head around the fact her ex girlfriend and long term colleague where arguing like kids, but he makes no move to leave. Both him and Amanda staring at each other.

Stepping away from her old partner, Amanda walks to the corner of the room, facing the wall, arms folded tightly across her chest. She hears the movement of Olivia's boots across the room towards Fin.

"It's ok, I want to hear what she has to say." Olivia tells Fin. A few seconds later the door to the interrogation room opens and closes again. Olivia closes the blinds and checks the intercom is disabled. She doesn't know how this conversation is going to go, or what is going to be said and really doesn't need the whole precinct knowing her business.

"Liv, I am sorry." Amanda says quietly after a few minutes of silence, still facing the wall.

"What are you sorry for Amanda? For leaving the department without a word? Or for letting me believe you never wanted to see me again? For leaving me? What exactly do you have to be sorry for?" Olivia scoffs, she's angry, Amanda knew she would be, and she deserves that, she knows she does.

"All of it. But I'm more sorry about the way I treated you than anything else." Amanda tells her, trying to convey the honesty in her words. She wants to turn around and look at Olivia, but she knows if she does, she will fall apart, again.

"Why now? Why are you here now?" Olivia barks, getting more and more worked up by the second.

"I needed time Liv, I'm sorry I hurt you, but I'm not sorry for that." I tell her sincerely, trying to keep the emotion in my voice in check.

"You needed time? You needed three hundred and twenty eight days without so much as a word to let me know you were ok?" The older woman fired back, her anger rising further.

That question causes the blonde to spin on her heel. Olivia knew exactly the number of days since she'd left without a word. But how?

"What did you just say?" Amanda asks, tears welling up in her eyes.

"You didn't think I'd remember? You didn't think I'd count the days without hearing from you?" Olivia asks incredulously, her tone still angry.

"Honestly, no. I didn't." Amanda stutters.

"I _was_ in love with you Amanda. You tore me apart. You did exactly the same to me as Elliot did. You saw the pain I went through after he left and he was just my partner. How could you be so fucking selfish?" Olivia raises her voice again.

"You, you were in love with me?" Amanda asks, the revelation something she hadn't been expecting.

"I was." Olivia states, moderately calmly considering.

"I am so, so sorry Liv." Amanda tells her, the tears that had been filling her eyes now spilling over.

A silence falls between them. Amanda's tears flowing freely down her cheeks, whilst Olivia's resolve begins to crumble.

She'd been worried to begin me, then she'd been hurt, then she'd been angry and exhausted. And now, now Olivia's heart felt like it was breaking all over again. Truth be told, she'd never got over Amanda, never dealt with her leaving, never dealt with the abrupt end to their relationship. And she sure as hell hadn't been with anyone else since, how could she when she was in fact, still in love with her?

Seeing Amanda cry, something she'd never seen before. Olivia broke, her anger suddenly gone. She closed the distance between them, going to pull the younger blonde into her arms.

"Don't, I don't deserve anything from you." Amanda stuttered, whilst trying to back away from the brunette.

When Amanda's back hit the wall, Olivia closed the gap again with one single step. Not giving Amanda the chance to push her away for a second time as she wrapped her arms tightly around the woman she couldn't cut out of her life, not matter how hard she had tried. With her arms securely around the blonde, Amanda fully broke down, her tears falling thick and fast, her body wracked with gut wrenching sobs. Her face pressed into Olivia's neck as she cried like never before.

"You deserve the world Amanda. You always have. I get that you needed time, but you could have told me that. I would have given you it." Olivia tells the woman in her arms.

"I don't deserve your understanding Liv, I deserve nothing from you after the way I've treated you. But I do, and I will _always_ love you." Amanda tells her, when she finally stops her tears enough to speak properly.

Extracting herself slightly from Olivia's embrace, Amanda leans back against the wall, her eyes glued to the chocolate orbs of the woman she had fallen in love with four years prior. Taking in every feature of her face, memorising it incase she never got to see her again.

Bright cobalt eyes linger slightly on the brunettes lips, unable to drag her eyes from the mouth that had brought her hours upon hours of pleasure before she'd literally run from her life.

"Amanda" Liv stumbled. She could see the way the blonde was looking at her and she wanted nothing more right now than to kiss her, to taste the woman of her dreams. To forget all the pain for a few minutes, for a few hours.

Without hesitation, Amanda closed the small distance between her and Olivia, capturing her lips in a searing kiss. The brunette immediately responding to her advances, kissing her back with just as much enthusiasm and envigor. Their mouths moulder together as one in a sensual dance. Taking the time to learn each other again, for a few minutes.

All of Olivia's resolve to keep the blonde at arms length gone with one simple kiss.

When they finally break the lip lock, both their chests are heaving. Each woman regarding the other for a second as they catch their breath. Amanda controlling her breathing first begins to speak.

"Liv, I really am..." She doesn't get to finish her sentence as Olivia's lips once again crash into her mouth, the brunettes hands going directly to the blondes belt loops on her jeans and pulling her forcefully into her own body and away from the wall. The moan that escapes Amanda's throat only adding to the urgency of the brunettes actions.

Olivia's tongue glides along Amanda's bottom lip, begging to deepen the kiss further, something Amanda allows without even a second thought. Their tongues playfully battling each other until Amanda ultimately gains control of the situation, backing Olivia towards to table in the middle of the room.

As the backs of Olivia's legs hit the table, Amanda breaks their kiss, just long enough to kiss her way across the brunettes jaw and down her neck. Sucking roughly on her pulse point before biting down with just as much force. Olivia whimpers at the sensations she had forgotten Amanda could cause her to feel.

The blonde moves her hands from Olivia's hips to front of her shirt, ripping her blouse open as the buttons go flying across the room in all directions. Exposing the smooth, olive tanned skin, and bra clad breasts of her former girlfriend with a level of urgency neither of them have experienced before. With her palms flat against Olivia's bare skin, roaming skilfully, Amanda continues to work her mouth along the brunettes collarbone, biting and sucking.

"Liv, tell me to stop." Amanda say, finding the very last ounce of control she has to check this is what Olivia wants.

"Don't stop." Olivia mumbles, searching for the blondes mouth once more.

Lowering her hands from the bare skin of Olivia's toned stomach, Amanda releases her belt and snaps the button of her slacks in one swift movement, before pushing them over the brunettes hips along with her panties.

Lightly trailing her fingertips along the outsides of Olivia's now bare thighs, Amanda firmly holds her, lifting her to sit on the interrogation room table. Spreading her legs enough for the blonde to stand between them, impossibly close to Olivia's sopping wet core.

Olivia's hand travels to Amanda's gun, removing it from her belt and placing it on the table behind her before releasing the clasp and ripping the buttons of her jeans open. The action surprising the blonde enough to break the lip lock they had been stuck in. Regarding Olivia with the slightest hint of amusement, Amanda's fingers tantalisingly make their way up the brunettes right thigh, edging closer toward their goal. Their eyes locked.

The silence within the interrogation room palpable. Lust and desire filled pools sharing an unspoken consent as the blonde finger meet the soaking wet core of Olivia. The first touch of cold, slender fingers to her heat causing the brunettes eyes to close.

Amanda's fingers slide through Olivia's folds, multiple moans escaping simultaneously from each woman as they do.

"Rollins." Olivia almost growls, causing the blonde to grin. She loves the needy side of Olivia, she always has.

Without a second thought, Amanda slides two fingers of her right hand into Olivia's entrance roughly. The older woman's mouth dropping open slightly, her eyes now lidded at the stimulation she is receiving. The blonde fingers powerfully starting a steady rhythm of thrusting into the accepting core of Olivia.

Without a moment of hesitation, Olivia slides her right hand into Amanda's open jeans and underwear, cupping her sex for a second before beginning the long awaited exploration of her dripping folds. The brunettes hand rubbing excruciatingly against the younger woman's throbbing bundle of nerves with every movement.

Moans spill freely from each woman, the volume increasing to a level that would easily alert anyone passing by in the hallway of their current situation. The thought gets caught somewhere in Amanda's brain just long enough for her to clamp her left hand over Olivia's mouth. She knows from experience that the brunette has a tendency to scream as her orgasm washes over her.

With her left hand over Olivia's mouth, her right working on bringing her to her peak and Olivia's hand sliding against her clitoris, Amanda brings her mouth back to Olivia's throat, sucking and biting at her pulse point with a renewed need. The need to keep herself quite.

The fire beginning to build in the pit of both of their stomachs. Olivia's core beginning to clamp down around the blondes fingers causes Amanda to adjust her angle, applying pressure direct pressure to the older woman's throbbing member. Curling her fingers, Olivia's body begins to shake slightly. A sign Amanda knows well as the indication of an overwhelming orgasm beginning.

Adding an extra finger inside of the brunette, Amanda picks up her pace. Thrusting just a few more times as Olivia is pushed over the edge into oblivion. Her world coming crashing down around her. Releasing her hand from Olivia's mouth for a split second, she brings their mouths together, swallowing every further noise that the brunette elicits whilst the younger woman helps her ride out her high.

All the while, Olivia's hand is continuing to work Amanda's folds, toying with her entrance, even at the difficult angle they currently seem to find themselves in. Amanda is already close, her stomach muscles tense with anticipation, so when Olivia enters her with three fingers off the bat, she almost cums on the spot. Four thrusts with curled fingers into the blondes centre, hitting the sweet spot and Amanda is following suit, headlong into a powerful orgasm. Her fingers still buried deep inside of Olivia, her head now resting on the older woman's shoulder.

When both women recover enough to extract themselves from each other, Amanda removes her finger from Olivia, bringing each one to her mouth and sucking them clean.

"Mmmm, you still taste just as good as ever." The blonde finally says, grinning at Olivia. The brunette copies the blonde.

"So do you." Olivia agrees as she stands from the table, making herself respectable again.

Once both women are redressed, they stand there, looking at each other. Both wondering what this means for them going forward.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Throwing off sparks**

 **Category: Teasing/humour/fun/not really sure**

 **Rating: Not M, yet**

 **Words: 1300**

* * *

By way of celebration for the case they had just closed, the special victims unit squad were currently huddled around one of the back tables at the local cop bar, sharing drink after drink, story after story. Just forgetting about the diabolical crimes they see on an almost daily basis.

Their most recent perp having been sentenced to life imprisonment that afternoon for a string of rape murders stretching months. For months, he had kept the detectives of the 1-6 on their toes. Evading their best efforts to protect and serve the citizens of Manhattan at every opportunity. Eventually he had slipped up, providing irrevocable evidence that left no doubt that he was their guy. Everyone was almost relieved, of they would be, if it hadn't taken so long to catch him.

John, Fin, Olivia, Amanda and Nick were all a little buzzed. Downing shot after shot, beer after beer. It was unusual for their lieutenant to join them in such childish drunken behaviour, but the older woman was keeping up with her detectives, matching them drink for drink. Something the young blonde detective knew Olivia would pay for with a nasty hangover in the morning, but she didn't seem to mind, seem to care.

Truth be told, Amanda was enjoying the lighter side of her boss. Seeing her let her hair down for a change instead of being the uptight picture of restraint and power that the older woman usually was. The blonde couldn't remember the last time her lieutenant had actually joined them, let alone partaken in the drinking games and jovial fun that were currently unfolding in front of her. With a smile, she looks around the table, taking in the scene before her, this bunch of people, they were her family. The family she had wanted growing up, the family she deserved.

"Fin, can ya shuffle out for a sec? I'm going for a smoke." The younger blonde woman asks her partner, as she was currently trapped in the booth between him and John Munch. The older detective happily obliges, climbing from his seat before allowing Amanda to escape the comfortable warmth of the bar, to the street.

Once outside, Amanda digs deep into her pockets searching for her trusty pack of Marlboro and lighter, finding them with ease. Sparking one up and placing the packet back in her pocket. Realistically she knows she should give up, should be making sure her lungs could cope with the endless chasing of suspects, but given that she is no longer gambling, this is her last vice. Well, this and drinking.

Leaning back against the wall, her left foot flat against the brick, Amanda takes a long drag. Holding the smoke in her lungs, allowing the wave of calm to wash over her as the nicotine enters her bloodstream as she stares into the night. She really was glad that the whole squad were finally relaxing, enjoying themselves. She was glad to be here, in this moment, with the people that mean everything to her.

Amanda is pulled from her thoughts by the door of the bar flying open beside her, the sudden noise and motion causing her to jolt and her heart to leap inside of her chest momentarily.

"Mandaaaaaa." Olivia calls out in a sing-song voice, trying to find her younger detective. Seemingly having missed having another female around the table.

"Yeah Liv?" The blonde responds from her place leant against the wall. The brunette spinning around to meet Amanda's gaze.

"Where did you go? I missed you." Olivia tells her, pouting like a small child. The question causes Amanda to smile, but instead of responding, she just holds up the half smoked cigarette to indicate why she is outside and not still drinking with her colleagues.

The silence Amanda had been enjoying a moment before descends again, the only sounds surrounding them being a handful of people smoking and chatting drunkenly and the passing traffic. Olivia regards her detective, clearly thinking hard about something.

"Can I have one?" The older woman asks after minutes of quiet, clearly having caught the thought that was swimming around her alcohol filled brain.

Amanda takes a second to regard the woman standing in front of her, thinking about the uncharacteristic question that just escaped her bosses lips, a single eyebrow raised.

"One of these?" Amanda asks, raising her now nearly finished cigarette into view. Olivia nods enthusiastically, grinning like a child as she does. Drunk Olivia is completely endearing to the blonde. The relaxed, fun side of her boss something she's never seen before. Something she wishes she could see more of.

"Uh, sure." The blonde says, taking the crumpled pack from her pocket again, sparking up the stick for her lieutenant, before handing it to her. Their fingers meeting briefly.

The blonde regards her boss as she takes the cigarette to her mouth, pursing her lips around the tip as she takes a long drag, the lit end lighting up brightly as she does. Amanda is unable to drag her eyes away from the way Olivia's lips are gently wrapped around the end. The overwhelming need to have that plump mouth wrapped around parts of her body washing over her unexpectedly.

Fumbling with the pack of Marlboro, Amanda pulls out a second for herself, lighting it quickly to try and suppress the feelings that have appeared unbidden and very suddenly.

The blonde watches Olivia intently as she smokes. For someone that she didn't think smoked, Olivia is smoking with ease, not once choking as the smoke takes an incorrect route through her body.

"Just how drunk are you right now?" The blonde asks cautiously, trying to work out why her boss was outside with her rather than in the warmth with her squad, why her boss had said she missed her, and why the hell her boss was smoking.

"Fairly. I think. Why?" Olivia responds calmly, her own eyebrow raising at the question.

"Well, you're smoking. I don't think I have ever seen that." Amanda answers.

"I missed you. This way I can be with you." Olivia tells her with a shrug, the alcohol she's consumed clearly lowering her inhibitions. Admitting to something so honestly is not something Olivia Benson would normally do.

"You missed me huh?" The younger detective asks playfully, even though she knows she shouldn't be teasing her lieutenant when she so obviously has no control over the words leaving her mouth.

Olivia just shrugs, stepping towards the younger blonde woman. Their bodies barely separated. Amanda feels her heart rate increase at the close proximity of the brunette. She knows she should take herself out of the situation before Olivia does or says anything she would probably later regret, but she's frozen to the spot, unable to move.

The older lieutenant, runs her left hand up the blonde woman's right jacket clad arm. The touch causes Amanda to shiver, even though Olivia isn't touching her skin. Leaning her head to Amanda's right ear, Olivia lowers her voice, her hot breath washing over Amanda's skin.

"Yeah, I missed you." Olivia says huskily, causing Amanda's eyes to shut tightly.

The next thing she knows, Amanda is stood leaning against the wall of the bar on the sidewalk, all alone, flustered and confused to high heaven. Out of habit, and the need to calm herself down, the blonde pulls out her third straight cigarette from the packet and sparks it up, willing herself to relax, to forget what just happened with the closeness of her boss to her body.

* * *

 **This is definitely going to be a two shot rather than one... just a little idea that's been playing on my mind recently.**


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Throwing off sparks part 2

Category: Teasing/humour/smut

Rating: Definitely M

Words: 2829

* * *

Olivia wakes up the next morning. Her head pounding, her mouth dryer than the Nevada desert. All too aware of the typical signs of a hangover. Her stomach rolling uncontrollably, even without moving. Luckily it's Saturday, meaning barring any emergencies she was free to stay home and feel sorry for herself. The boys catching any new cases, with herself and Amanda both off this weekend.

The brunette lieutenant thinks back to last night, racking her brain to remember the events of the evening. She remembers going to a local cop bar with her squad, she remembers putting away a lot more drinks than she usually would, she remembers having fun. But not a lot else.

Dragging herself from her bed, in desperate need of a drink, Olivia pads down the hallway towards her kitchen. Stopping suddenly when she spots a sleeping form on her couch. Confusion washing over her once more. To be quite frank, she doesn't remember much after the first hour in the bar, let alone how she'd got home. But she is definitely surprised to see someone still in her home. Taking a tentative step closer to the couch, Olivia wipes the sleep from her eyes, focusing on the body huddled underneath a blanket, a mass of blonde hair escaping from the cover.

Amanda. Clearly the blonde had been stuck with the responsibility of looking after her drunk ass as she didn't have work this weekend. Or at least that's what Olivia summises. What other reason would the blonde have to be in her lieutenants apartment? Ignoring the slumbering blonde for now, Olivia continues her mission for water, quietly grabbing a glass from the cupboard before filling it with water. The first glass she downs in seconds, before refilling it and using the clear liquid to take a couple of painkillers. The cool water refreshing as it slides down her dry throat.

Satisfied that the second glass of water will quench her thirst for now, Olivia makes her way silently back towards her bed. Feeling like pure crap, not really surprising considering. She just about gets to the door between the living room and the hallway when something stops her in her tracks.

"Liv?" The blonde utters quietly from her couch.

"Hey." She mumbles just as quietly. Unsure why she suddenly feels nervous about having to talk to her blonde detective.

"How you feeling?" Amanda asks, causing the older brunette to turn to look at her. Taking in the sight of the bleary eyed, mussed haired blonde half sitting, half lying on her couch. She stands taking in everything that is a just awoken Amanda. Losing herself in thoughts and feelings she had been desperate to suppress for a long time now.

"Liv?" Amanda prompts.

"Hungover to shit." The brunette finally answers, causing the younger woman to snigger. She isn't surprised, not in the slightest. She had witnessed just how drunk her boss had been last night.

"No kidding. I don't think I've ever seen you drunk before, let alone that drunk." The blonde comments quietly, a slight smile pulling at her lips as she remembers their shared smoking time the night before.

"Oh god. What did I do?" Olivia asks in mortification, unable to actually remember.

"Do you remember having a cigarette with me?" Amanda asks, her eyebrow raised.

"I didn't." Olivia responds, sighing in disbelief at herself.

"You did. And that was pretty early in the night. So if you don't remember that then I'm going to be here all day telling you what you did." Amanda teases, she knows it isn't entirely fair to play with her boss right now, but she's enjoying the discomfort of the perfectly put together Olivia Benson. Olivia holds up her hands, stopping Amanda from talking.

"I don't want to know!" The brunette says sharply.

"You sure?" Amanda asks, suddenly serious.

"All I want to know is why you're here and how I got home." The older woman says, hoping that those two events are at least linked.

"Yeah, well, ummm. Fin and I helped get you upstairs." Amanda says stuttering over her words. It wasn't entirely a lie. Just a slight omission of the full truth.

"But why are you still here?" Olivia asks in exasperation.

"You, uh, Liv." Amanda falters. "I'm going to go, you seem good now."

"Rollins." Olivia says sternly, basically fixing the blonde detective to the spot that she's trying to escape from. Stumbling around wrapped in the blanket she had slept beneath.

Regarding Olivia's expression for a second, Amanda takes a deep steadying breath. Trying to calm her rapid heartbeat, thumping away in her chest, threatening to escape entirely.

"Really Liv, you don't want to know." The blonde tells her boss after a minute of thinking carefully. Hopeful that she'll stop her lieutenant from questioning why she's still in her home.

"It sounds like I need to know." Olivia says, determination lacing her tone.

Amanda could lie, but unfortunately for her, her boss has always seen through it, always been able to tell when she isn't being entirely truthful.

"You asked me to stay." Amanda mumbles quietly, her eyes trained on the floor.

"Ok so I asked you to stay. What's wrong with that?" Olivia asks in defiance.

"Olivia. If you don't remember, just stop. I'm not going to make this even more uncomfortable for you." Amanda tells her, her usual snarky tone coming into play.

"Uncomfortable how?" Olivia asks, clearly not getting it.

"Olivia, _stop_." Amanda tells her again.

"Amanda just tell me. Please." Olivia half whines.

"Fine." Amanda answers in exasperation. "You said you missed me, you all but begged me to stay the night with you, even asking at one point for me to sleep in your bed with you. Liv, you said you wanted me to take you to bed, to, uh, umm, to, strip you naked and have my way with you, to uh, fuck you senseless I believe were the words you used." Amanda tells her, keeping her eyes away from her bosses dark brown orbs, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"Oh." Olivia says. The silence falling between them deafening.

"I think now, I should just, uh go." Amanda finally says.

"No, wait. Just, Amanda, hang on a second." Olivia asks, almost pleads. "I _really_ said that?"

"Mhm." Amanda mutters, finally lifting her head to look at her boss. What she sees, however surprises her.

"Well you know what they say about alcohol?" Olivia says, the blonde cocking her head to the side slightly and raising and eyebrow in question of what "a drunk mind speaks a sober heart."

"That's very, uh, profound Liv." Amanda mumbles, giving her boss a sly smile.

"French origin I believe." Olivia responds noncommittally, waving her hand around and beginning to close the distance between the two women slightly.

The tension in the room increasing a few hundred notches, as Amanda and Olivia look at each other intently. Trying to read the others minds. Amanda wondering if what Olivia has just said is really what she feels,what she wants, and Olivia trying to work out why the blonde hasn't run out yet after what she's just admitted.

"How do _you_ feel about that?" Olivia finally asks, standing directly in front of her subordinate, close enough for their breaths to mingle.

Amanda doesn't have the words required to explain the overwhelming wave of arousal that washed through her body when her lieutenant told her it wasn't just a drunken want, need.

Instead, she crashes her mouth into the brunettes, their lips working together in a searing kiss. Her hands tangling in Olivia's hair, pulling her impossibly close. The blonde very much tasting the level of alcohol her boss had consumed the previous night on her mouth. Regardless of the stale alcohol taste, Amanda runs her tongue forcefully across Olivia's bottom lip, begging to be allowed to intrude. An action the older woman allows without a moment's thought. Their tongues beginning to battle playfully, tasting as much of each other as they can. Eventually, air becoming an issue, they break their lip lock. Amanda once again cocking her head slightly, a smirk toying on her lips as she looks at her boss, waiting for her to make the next move. Their chests heaving, desperately trying to drag in enough oxygen.

"I guess that answers that question?" Olivia smirks, having finally caught her breath enough to speak.

"Mhm." Amanda says again. Grinning widely at the woman standing before her.

Taking Amanda's hand, Olivia all but pulls her down the hallway to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her and forcing the blonde roughly against the harsh wood. Her lips instantly finding the blondes. It takes a stunned Amanda a second to catch up with the urgency of her lieutenant's actions before her mind begins to work. The blondes hands dropping to the hem of Olivia's top, hoisting it over he head in a single, swift movement. Their mouths disconnecting just long enough for the garment to be removed before continuing with their needy, joined state. Olivia's hands move to the buttons on Amanda's plaid shirt, fumbling to undo them.

After a few seconds of unsuccessfully trying to unbutton the younger woman's shirt, Olivia grabs either side of the material, ripping the offending fabric open. Revealing a white lace bra and expanse of milky white skin beneath. Her hands instantly exploring the new area, palms flat to Amanda's stomach, roaming across smooth skin in exploration.

"Are you sure about this Liv?" The blonde woman suddenly asks, needing the confirmation.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that considering you're the one currently pinned to my bedroom door?" Olivia asks huskily between her mouth working along the blondes exposed neck. Leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses in her wake.

"Ugh. I'm sure." Amanda groans. Olivia stopping her ministrations momentarily to look intently into the blondes deep blue, aroused eyes.

"I'm sure too." Olivia confirms when she's happy that this is in fact what her subordinate, her detective, her colleague, actually wants.

Amanda places her hands on Olivia's hips, guiding them backwards, away from the door, towards the brunettes bed. They stop just short, a wave of nervousness washing over the older woman suddenly.

"We don't have to do this Liv, it's not too late to stop." Amanda tells her, noticing the slightest hint of hesitation.

"I want to." Olivia tells her with conviction, Amanda's concern giving her the confidence boost she needed.

Olivia brings her lips to the blonde womans, kissing her softer, with more love and care, but still a huge amount of need. Their hands rest on each other's hips. The lieutenant is the first to act, sliding her fingertips along the waistband of Amanda's pants towards the button. Skilfully, She undoes the clasp with a single hand, her left hand lowering the blondes zipper. Olivia coaxes her hands into the back of Amanda's pants, grabbing her ass firmly before pushing the trousers over her hips. The material looking around the younger blondes ankles for a few seconds before she manages to extract herself from them.

Amanda's lips work along Olivia's jaw, up to her ear before travelling down her neck to the older woman's collarbone. Her lips, tongue and teeth continuing their assault with unwavering fervent. The younger woman's hands having sneakily travelled up Olivia's torso to her breasts, tracing around the flesh currently restrained by the brunettes dark blue bra. Sliding her hand around to Olivia's back, the blonde detective undoes the bra, pushing the straps from Olivia's shoulders. The garment falling to the floor, adding to the rapidly frowning pile of clothes.

Amanda palms Olivia's breasts, her lips continuing to work around the boney flesh of the older woman's collarbone, elicit moans escaping constantly from the brunettes mouth at the sensations the younger woman is causing.

"I _need_ you naked Amanda." Olivia chokes out breathlessly.

"And I need you naked Liv." Amanda responds, only stopping her constant actions against the brunettes body with her mouth log enough to speak.

Quickly, Amanda removes her own bra and panties, whilst Olivia works on her own trousers and underwear. Forced to extract herself from the attention of Amanda's mouth to sit down and slide her pants and panties from her body without collapsing on shaky legs.

Both woman look at each other for a second, taking in the beauty of the other. Allowing their eyes to roam the newly exposed flesh. The flawlessness of skin expansed before them.

"Move." Amanda almost growls, the animalistic need to touch Olivia taking her by full force. The tone of the blondes voice causing the brunette to grin, before she complies and slides up the bed towards the soft pillows. Amanda crawling over her body, the blondes eyes raking up long tanned legs, soft neatly trimmed curls, perfect hips, toned abdomen, luscious breasts to her neck, eventually landing on Olivia's lips. The older woman's chest, neck and cheeks flushed at the rapt attention of the blondes gaze.

"Manda." Olivia whines, the arousal between her legs plentiful, desperate for the release she knows this woman can give to her.

Amanda shifts slightly, straddling Olivia's right leg, before pressing her core against it, showing her boss just how wet she is. Her mouth lingering over the brunettes right nipple before her tongue darts out slightly, teasing the dusky protruding peak. The blondes right hand pinning Olivia's hip to the bed, as she intuitively bucks, seeking out relief from the overwhelming tingle deep within the pit of her stomach.

Without denying the need of her lieutenant any longer, Amanda moves her hand to Olivia's sex, cupping it with her right hand, the wetness instantly meeting her flingertips.

"Mmmm, Liv." Amanda moans, before dragging a single finger through the slick, soaking folds of her boss, circling her throbbing bundle of nerves before sliding it back down. Painstakingly slowly, teasing the older woman towards the edge of oblivion. Repeating the action several times. The young woman's tongue continuously working Olivia's nipple.

"Amanda, please." Olivia begs, needing more, needing the release that is cooked tightly within her.

"Please what Liv?" The blonde woman asks innocently, whilst continuing the path of her middle finger.

"Please, inside, I need you, inside." Olivia moans, struggling to form a full sentence through a lust filled haze.

Amanda doesn't hesitate, doesn't hold back, doesn't tease. If Olivia's need is anything like her own right now, she does want to prolong the agony. So she gives the brunette what she wants, entering her with two fingers easily.

Olivia cries out in both pleasure and surprise, Amanda's fingers beginning to pump into her at the excruciatingly slow pace similar to the one her finger had been trailing just minutes earlier.

"Faster." Olivia groans through gritted teeth. Moving her own hips to try and increase the friction of the blondes fingers buried deep inside of her. The movement of her hips causing the blondes throbbing button to receive the stimulation Amanda also requires. The blonde hips thrusting into the older woman's leg, matching her fingers, stroke for stroke.

The need to kiss the older woman below her momentarily distracts the blonde from her toying of Olivia's nipple. A task that she ditches in preference of kissing the beautiful woman below her.

Sweat sheened skin moulding together, heavy breaths mingling, as both women head rapidly towards intense orgasms.

"Liv, I'm uh." Amanda stutters, trying to catch her breath, trying to tell Olivia's she's about to fall headfirst into her intense climax.

"Right, with, you." Olivia moans. The admission causing Amanda to adjust her hand and apply direct pressure to Olivia's clitoris, her own body beginning to tense in preparation for release.

A few swipes of her thumb against the older woman's straining bundle of nerves causes Olivia's back to arch, her thigh pushing tightly into Amanda's core, both of them reaching their peak simultaneously. A mass of moans being shared between their shaking, sweat soaked bodies.

Amanda collapses on half on top of Olivia, her fingers still inside of the brunette, both women's chest heaving with exertion and the intensity of what has just occurred between them.

"That was." Amanda finally says, trying to convey what she feels in that moment.

"Yeah." Olivia answers with a chuckle.

They both lie there, unmoving. Just basking in the afterglow of what they have just shared.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Ignite

Category: Fluff, humour, Drabble, nothing serious

Rating: T/K

Words: 1608

* * *

Amanda Rollins is that person, the person that cannot sleep unless she's completely naked. Completely naked or so far beyond exhausted that it's incomprehensible. That's the person the blonde detective is. At home, it's fine. At work, during an inexcusably tortuous case, it isn't so fine.

Every detective of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit had been working for the last thirty six hours straight. Engulfed in a case that meant no one was able to go home, and no one was able to shower, barely able to even find time to eat. Of course they had caught the perpetrator, after a high speed chase across the city. Now they were all desperately trying to finish their paperwork in order to get home for some much needed rest, to freshen up before the next horrific crime hit the squad.

The squad had taken turns throughout the previous night to sleep for two hours at a time. Amanda however had declined, and now her head was beginning to droop whilst she desperately tried to catch up on her paperwork. Her colleagues bustling around grumpily also working on their DD5's, dotting the i's and crossing the t's, ready for Barba to try the case of their latest victim. The blonde woman's head lulled again, bobbing around on her shoulders loosely. Unable to hold her head up or control what her body was doing due to sheer exhaustion.

"Amanda, go get your head down in the cribs for an hour." Her boss, lieutenant Benson calls from her office, clearly having seen the blonde struggling to stay awake.

"Lieu, I'm ok." Detective Rollins tries to protest.

"Rollins, it's not negotiable. Now go." Olivia tells her, having stood from her desk, now hovering in the doorway to her office.

Detective Rollins stands from her desk, suddenly very disgruntled at actually being able to get her head down, even though she knows she should be relieved. The blonde easily preferred the discomfort and major back ache that followed from sleeping at her desk, to the tossing and turning that often took place when trying to get an hour in the cribs. Amanda knew she couldn't fully settle and relax without the coolness of crisp sheets flush to her bare skin. It was something the younger blonde had learnt in her early teenage years.

Flopping down on one of the many empty beds within the bunkroom, Amanda contemplates her options for a few minutes. She could sit on one of the beds and would probably fall asleep, such was the exhaustion currently gripping her tightly, or she could get comfortable underneath the covers and get a more restful sleep.

In a split second decision, the blonde stripped off her suit pants, button down and bra, before sliding under the covers. In mere seconds, Amanda was dead to the world. Consumed by the lull of darkness and relaxation.

Three hours later, both Fin and Carisi had long gone, leaving Olivia Benson all alone in the squad room. Fin being the good colleague and partner that he was, had finished Amanda's DD5's off before heading out. It was getting on for late evening, the lieutenant was just finishing up checking through her paperwork. Getting ready to finally head home and see her son. She missed Noah dearly when they caught a case that meant she couldn't get home to see her five year old boy. She imagined Amanda felt the same about Jesse. What mother wouldn't?

Packing up her things, Olivia decided to go and wake her blonde detective so that she could go home to her daughter as well.

Lieutenant Benson was the only other member of the SVU squad that hadn't slept at all during the case they had just closed, and the idea of climbing stairs was almost overwhelming in her tiredness. But the brunette knew Amanda would appreciate not being left here alone overnight, and being able to go home and sleep in her own bed. It was one of the small pleasures after a case like this. Heading home and collapsing in the comfort of your own home surrounded by family. Something the older woman had only learnt a few years ago when she began fostering Noah.

Gently nudging the door of the cribs open, Olivia entered the room slowly and quietly. Giving herself a minute for her eyes to adjust to the darkness within the room. The moonlight pouring through one of the small windows was enough to allow a small amount of light. Just enough for the room to be dimly lit whilst being dark enough to sleep in.

Cautiously Olivia made her way towards the only bed that housed a sleeping body, knowing it must be Amanda. Suddenly the brunette stopped, she was close enough to where the blonde was sleeping, could make her out perfectly.

Amanda's face looked like that of an angel in the moonlight that was illuminating the room. Her blonde hair cascading across the pillow that her head rested peacefully on. But that wasn't what had stopped the lieutenant in her tracks. The covers that Amanda was lying beneath were pooled around her waist, perfect milky breasts and pert dusky pink nipples on display for the world to see, for her to see. Olivia's mouth had instantly gone dry at the unguarded view of the woman lying in front of her, the moisture pooling somewhere much further south on her body.

Olivia Benson had always been drawn to blonde haired, blue eyed women. She'd known it for a very long time, even since before the moment Alexandra Cabot had walked into her life, but she'd kept it to herself for most of her life. Never let on that she was attracted to women, let alone what type of women. She'd hidden the fact by having relationships with men, sleeping with men, but that did not change the fact that irrevocably she is a lesbian.

Unable to drag her eyes away from the sleeping blonde, Olivia stands by Amanda's bed, stock still. Watching the relaxed rise and fall of her chest, her brown eyes glued to the blondes toned body.

"Liv?" Amanda mutters her voice husky due to being sleep laiden.

The brunettes eyes shoot up to meet bleary blue pools, surprise written all over the younger woman's face.

"I, uh, the guys, uh, you can go home." The esteemed Lieutenant stumbles over her words. Before turning on her heel to leave in a hurry.

Amanda sat quickly, grabbing her lieutenants wrist to stop her hasty retreat, not bothering to cover herself up in the process.

"Liv?" Amanda questions again, forcing Olivia to once again look at her.

"I should, uh, go." The brunette says, using her free hand to point in the direction of the door over her shoulder.

"You don't have to." Amanda responds as a look of confusion crossed her bosses face.

"I do." Olivia mumbles, dropping her gaze to the floor.

"Why?" The blonde asks, her grip on Olivia's wrist not wavering.

The question once again drawing dark chocolate brown eyes to meet the intense blue gaze of a mildly amused Amanda. Silence extending through the thick blanket of air falling over the bunk room. Minutes pass whilst the younger blonde woman allows her lieutenant time to answer her question.

"Do you always, um, sleep, like this?" Olivia finally asks, clearly avoiding the question she had been asked.

"Maybe you should find out some time?" Amanda answers, her tone flirtatious, causing the brunette to visibly gulp.

Olivia looks like a deer in headlights. She doesn't know whether to run or give in to the temptation that she has been suppressing for most of her life.

"Rollins." The older woman almost growls.

"Really Liv? You're going to 'Rollins' me now? I'm bisexual, I have a certain amount of gaydar. I see how you look at me. You however, are oblivious." The blonde tells her boss with conviction.

"I, uh, what?" Olivia asks with her perfectly sculpted right eyebrow raised.

"What? You think because I've only ever been with men since I've been in New York that I never thought you were attractive? That you're beautiful? That you're hot? That because I've only been with men in the time you've known me that I'm straight?" Amanda asks incredulously.

"Huh?" Olivia asks, her eyes faltering from the blondes, back to her clearly exposed chest once more, causing the older woman to bite her bottom lip instinctively.

"Oh for god sake, Liv, you're blind when it comes to women. I saw the way Cabot looked at you, I know how I look at you, and you, you don't see it. You could have had either of us, but you never noticed." Amanda tells her, grinning at the look of desire on her bosses face.

Tugging lightly on her lieutenants wrist causes Olivia to lose her balance. Before the older woman knows what's happening she is sat on the edge of the bunk Amanda is occupying.

"Liv, I like you, as more than my boss, as more than my colleague, as more than a friend." The blonde tells her, their eyes meeting once more.

Slowly, Amanda leans in towards Olivia, their eyes never breaking contact, seeking silent permission. With Olivia rooted to the spot, Amanda closes the gap, their lips meeting in a sweet soft kiss. Once, twice, three times, before Amanda pulls back, a grin forming on her lips.

"Get dinner with me?" The blonde asks before climbing from the bed, leaving a stunned Olivia sat there whilst the younger woman pulls on her clothes.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Banana part 1.

Category: Humour

Rating: M for second part

Words: 1775

* * *

Olivia was drawn from her mountain of paperwork by the shrill of her cell ringing. Picking the device up, she checked the caller ID, not recognising the number, before swiping to accept the call.

"Benson." The Lieutenant spoke into the receiver in her usual official manner.

"What can I do for you Detective Holiday?" Olivia asked, once the young woman had announced who was calling her.

"I see, and what would this involved?" The older woman continued to talk to the younger female detective.

"Ok, I have just the person to help you out, but I want to be at the scene." Olivia negotiated, barely concealing a chuckle at what one of her detectives would shortly be doing.

"That's fine. See you in a couple of hours." Lieutenant Benson said with a grin, before hitting the end call button on her cell.

Standing from her desk, Olivia made her way to her office door. Swinging it open, she was instantly hit with an overwhelming wave of heat. The stifling temperatures of a standard summer in New York were in full force today. Of course, the air conditioning unit in the building was down for maintenance but being the boss had its perks. Such as a portable unit in her office.

Surveying her subordinates, their disheveled appearances. Their clothes clearly clinging to their skin. Amanda and Carisi's usually impeccable hair looking worse for wear. Plastered to their heads with sweat.

"Rollins, can you come in here a second please?" Olivia beckoned the blonde woman, deciding to give her a break from the heat whilst discussing their next surveillance operation.

The younger woman stood from her desk and trudged precariously to her Lieutenant's office, stopping in front of the wooden desk.

"Can you shut the door please?" Olivia asked with a smile, trying to ameliorate the fears of a dressing down that Amanda always expected when summoned to her bosses' office.

The younger blonde woman walked back to the door, closing it before turning to face her Lieutenant.

"What's up Liv?" Amanda asks, her shoulders obviously tense, her head down, gaze trained on the floor. The younger woman racking her brain for what she has done wrong this time.

"Relax babe, you're not in trouble." Olivia tells her, motioning for her to sit down. Amanda's head shooting up at the term of endearment that is never used once they enter the precinct in the mornings.

"Oooook." Amanda answers, a grin on her girlfriend of four years face.

"Detective Holiday just rang, she needs our help with a surveillance op." Olivia tells Amanda with a certain element of nonchalance.

"Ok, so why are we in here and not on said operation?" Amanda asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I figured you could use a minute out of the heat of the squad room before we go meet Detective Holiday. You're looking a little disheveled there Amanda." The older woman tells her with a smirk.

"Gee, thanks Liv. Way to tell me I look like shit." Amanda fires back, however a smile forms on her lips, letting Olivia know she's only teasing.

"You know you still look beautiful." Olivia tells Amanda as she stands from her desk and moves around to the same side as Amanda. Perching herself on the edge of the wooden desk and motioning for the blonde to sit down.

Amanda sits in the chair closest to her girlfriend, Olivia briefly looking through her office window to ensure the guys aren't watching their exchange. When she's certain they are busy, she reaches down for the younger woman's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"What's with you today? You're usually very anti PDA at the office Liv." Amanda asks, not complaining in the slightest, just marginally confused.

"We've been swapped lately, I've missed you." Olivia states with a shrug.

"Well, what are you doing tonight? Why don't you come over? We can grab some food, watch a movie, relax" Amanda asks with a lopsided grin.

"Sounds perfect." Olivia responds, before abruptly removing herself from Amanda's side, seconds before Fin knocks on her door.

"Liv, we got a case." The older man tells her.

"Ok, you and Carisi take it. Amanda and I have been asked to assist homicide with an op." She tells him. Fin giving her a smile and nod before heading out with the youngest member of the squad.

"You may want to put something cooler on ready for this stake out." Olivia tells Amanda with a hardly hidden giggle.

"Such as?" Amanda asks confused.

"I don't know, maybe shorts and a camisole?" Olivia suggests, desperate to hide her amusement of the situation Amanda is going to find herself in, whilst also ignoring the usual pull in her lower stomach at the idea of Amanda in shorts. Her toned, muscular legs on display.

"I'll see what I've got in my locker, but I may need to head home quick to change." The blonde tells her girlfriend.

"Sure. Go see what you've got." The brunette agrees. Seconds later, Amanda is gone from her office. Leaving Olivia alone, and able to let out the snort of laughter that she had been desperate to suppress moments earlier.

Ten minutes later, a soft knock at Olivia's office door caused the Lieutenant to look back up from her paperwork once more. The sight afforded to her caused the older woman to visibly gulp. Her girlfriend was stood leaning seductively against her door frame, her right hand holding the frame high above her head. Long, toned legs going on for miles before any expanse of pale skin was covered with very short, yellow shorts. A white camisole covering her torso, leaving very little to the imagination. And if Olivia wasn't mistaken, Amanda had also removed her bra, and her breasts were currently free from any restraint. The dark brown eyes of the older woman eventually landing of the shining blue orbs of the woman she loves. Amanda's expression filled with amusement, and a hint of teasing.

Slowly, shakily, Olivia stands from her desk, making her way across the office towards her girlfriend. Steadying herself with her left hand on the door, Olivia leans into the blondes' personal space, her mouth next to Amanda's ear.

"You are such a tease." The brunette says, her voice octaves lower than usual. Filled with lust and desire. The blondes' eyes momentarily fluttering closed.

"You told me to put on something cooler." Amanda says innocently.

"Ready to get going?" Olivia asks, suddenly back in professional mode.

"Sure." The blonde woman answers.

An hour later, both women are situated in the squad car, parked up on the side of a busy shopping street in Manhattan, patiently awaiting the arrival of Detective Holiday.

"What do you fancy eating tonight?" Amanda asks, making small talk. As she speaks, she takes a hold of Olivia's hand, gently intertwining their fingers.

"Pizza?" Olivia suggests.

"Mmmm. Sounds good. So long as I can have banana on it?" The blonde negotiates, much to Olivia's disapproval.

"You can have banana on your half, but there's no way I'm eating that. You know that's weird right?" Olivia asks.

"Not as weird as pineapple on pizza." The blonde argues.

"It's perfectly acceptable to have pineapple on pizza. Yet never, had I heard of banana on pizza until I met you." The older woman teases, before leaning towards Amanda to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Just as their lips are about to touch, a rear door of the car flies open. Both women jumping as far away from each other as humanly possible in the cramped space.

"Lieutenant, Rollins." Detective Holiday greets.

"Detective." Olivia responds as Amanda also greets the younger woman with her own utterance of the woman's surname.

"So, what's the plan then Holiday?" The blonde detective asked suspiciously.

"Well, Rollins, you are going to wear what's in this bag and stand on the corner over there keeping an eye out for this man." The youngest woman said holding out a photograph for Amanda to take and study.

"Ok, what am I wearing?" Amanda asked cautiously, eyeing her boss and girlfriend suspiciously, suddenly not sure if she actually even wanted to know.

"Here." Devin said, handing over the bag she had held up moments earlier.

"Oh, bloody fantastic." Amanda said sarcastically as she peered inside the bag. "Hey Liv, I think I changed my mind. There's no way I want pizza tonight now, after this."

"Why's that Rollins?" Olivia teased slightly, trying to play coy as if she wasn't aware of the outside her girlfriend was about to slip into.

"Seriously Liv? Don't tell me you didn't know about the banana costume?" The blonde asks with the faintest hint of amusement and a raised eyebrow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." The older woman said in mock innocence.

A few minutes later, Amanda was dressed in her banana costume, hooked up to a mic so that she could relay any possible sightings of the perp homicide were looking for, and standing on the corner of the street. Detective Holiday had given her some fruit and veg stall fliers to hand out, in order to look less inconspicuous. Benson and Holiday stayed situated in the squad car watching from across the street. The two women sitting in silence, taking in the comical sight of the blonde detective in a bright yellow head to toe banana shaped suit. A face sized hole displaying the very unamused features of the woman inside. Her toned muscular legs covered in equally as yellow stockings, with the base of the banana costume finishing between her calf muscles.

"She looks kind of cute in that." Detective Holiday said to Olivia, never taking her eyes off the blonde. Olivia looked at the younger woman, noticing the look on her face. It was a look she had seen on Amanda's face long before they got together.

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked, a pang of jealousy flashing through her veins. Her tone of voice grabbing the other woman's attention fully.

"I'm just saying, she's an attractive woman." The detective stated, earning herself a barely hidden glare from Lieutenant Benson. "Benson, come on, I saw you two practically kissing when I got here, I know she's your girl."

"We aren't, we haven't…" Olivia trailed off trying to defend her actions unsuccessfully.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. But the way you look at her, she looks at you, it's obvious. You can't hide it forever." The young woman told her.

"Thanks." Olivia said, silence once again falling over the vehicle.

* * *

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Banana part 2.

Category: Random…

Rating: M for second part

Words: 1754

* * *

For almost five hours, lieutenant Benson and Detective Holiday had shared mindless chit chat whilst Amanda stood on the street corner donned in her bright yellow banana costume keeping her eyes peeled for the homicide suspect. The two women in the sweltering car also watching the street. It was nearing nine o'clock in the evening now and the sun had begun to set along the Manhattan skyline, offering only the slightest reprieve to the intense heat that had engulfed the city for the few days.

"We should call it a day." Detective Holiday suggested to the woman sat beside her in the driver's seat of the NYPD issue squad car.

"Might be a good idea." Olivia responded. "Poor Amanda is probably dying out there."

"Probably." Devin replied with a slight chuckle, unable to hide her amusement at the situation any longer as they both eyed the increasingly frustrated woman across the street.

Amanda's body language had been tensed and annoyed from the start, not in the slightest amused at having to look like a banana, in the scorching sun, on a busy street corner no less.

"What's this guy supposedly done anyway?" Olivia asks, realising she probably should have found out before agreeing to her detective taking part in the sting operation.

"Oh, nothing." Detective Holiday tells her with a grin, the answer earning a confused look from the lieutenant.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Detective Rollins was a pain in my ass during the West murder investigation." Holiday tells Olivia, barely able to stop the snigger in her throat as Olivia gives her a disapproving look.

"So, you figured you'd waste our time?" Olivia asks with the smallest amount of anger in her voice.

"Oh, come on. You can't deny this wasn't funny, and she does look super cute in that." Devin says, trying to justify her actions.

"You know she'll kill you if she finds out, right?" Olivia tells the detective beside her in the car, chuckling to herself. "And how did you know I'd choose Rollins anyway?"

"Benson, would you choose anyone else?" Holiday asks.

"Fair enough." Both women now chuckling at the situation. Olivia would probably have been annoyed on any usual day, however the heat wave immersing Manhattan appeared to have sent nearly every criminal into hiding for the last few days. A fact everyone was grateful for.

"I'm going to go before you get her back over here. Thanks for the entertainment today." Detective Holiday tells Olivia before moving to get out of the vehicle.

"You're welcome, but if you waste my detective's time again I'll write you up." Olivia tells Devin before the younger woman nods and exits the car with a grin.

Pulling her cell from the pocket of her trousers, Olivia fires Amanda a quick text telling her that they are done for the day. The blonde detective appearing at the squad car door a couple of minutes later.

"Where'd Holiday go?" Amanda asked as she yanked the passenger side door open and clambered in the best she could with the banana suit restrictions.

"Home." Olivia responded simply before leaning across the car to give her girlfriend a quick peck on the lips.

"Please tell me not catching this guy doesn't mean I have to do this again tomorrow." Amanda pleaded, her tone defeated and exhausted.

"No, not at all." Olivia answered her, unable to hide the grin on her lips.

"What you smilin' about Benson?" Amanda asked with a raised eyebrow, unsure of what exactly was happening, until it suddenly clicked. "She was hazin' me, wasn't she?"

The question causes Olivia to burst into laughter, unable to control it anymore.

"Did you know?" Amanda asks, angry for being put in the situation.

"No. Not until about five minutes ago." Olivia chokes out between giggles.

"Ugh, I'll kill her." Amanda snaps, flinging her arms in anger. The reaction causing Olivia to laugh even more.

"I told her that." Olivia told Amanda between laughter and tears streaming down her face. The scene of Olivia laughing so hard at her misfortune caused Amanda's scowl to turn into a grin of her own.

Turning to her girlfriend, Amanda gripped onto Olivia's top, the action surprising her into silence. Amanda pulled Olivia towards her, grinning herself now before leaning her face close to Olivia's.

"And you, Lieutenant, are not getting laid for a week." Amanda growled before meeting Olivia's lips in a searing kiss, leaving her breathless when they broke.

"Mmmm sure love." Olivia responded when she had caught her breath a few seconds later. "You forget I know you, and I know you being as hot and sweaty as I'm sure you have been for the last few hours makes you insatiable." Olivia teases whilst running her hand up Amanda's thigh and under the cuff of the banana suit causing Amanda to whimper at the touch.

"Can we go home now?" Amanda asks, her voice husky even as she tries to hide it.

"Of course." Olivia responds before turning and fastening her belt.

The drive home was taking a while, the Manhattan traffic never letting up, even with the late hour of the day. Amanda was sighing almost constantly in frustration. She wanted nothing more than to have her girlfriend home so that she could get the damn banana suit off and ravish her. Her left hand running up and down Olivia's muscular thigh over the top of her pants as the lieutenant tried to concentrate on weaving through traffic.

"Amanda, stop that." Olivia told her with a half whimper, her voice not showing any indication that she meant the words escaping her lips.

Amanda shifted in her seat, allowing her body to turn towards Olivia. Leaning across, Amanda placed her lips on Olivia's neck, kissing the sensitive spot behind her ear with an undeniably accurate motion causing a soft moan to escape Olivia's now parted lips.

"Amanda." Olivia husked, trying to warn her girlfriend but instead spurring her advances on. Amanda's hand inching higher towards the apex of Olivia's thighs, squeezing the muscle of her leg firmly.

"Liv, pull over." Amanda suddenly blurted, the frustration becoming too great.

"I can't 'Mand, there's nowhere to stop." Olivia told her girlfriend with a frustrated sigh of her own.

"Liv, I swear t'god, you don't pull over somewhere, anywhere, I'm guna have my hand down your pants whilst you're in control of a two-tonne vehicle." Amanda growled, making it clear that Olivia didn't have a huge amount of choice in the matter, not that the lieutenant minded anyway. Olivia loved it when Amanda was like this.

"Aright, alright. Hang on a second." Olivia tells Amanda whilst looking around for somewhere secluded enough for them to stop. Suddenly she spots a multi-storey parking lot and quickly swings the vehicle into it, heading to a deserted floor. The sixth, she thinks. Once parked, Olivia kills the engine, barely having chance to remove her belt before Amanda's hands are tugging at her blouse, her lips working their magic again her neck.

"Liv, I need you." Amanda mumbles between sucking on Olivia's neck.

"I'm right here babe." Olivia moans. "All yours. Always."

Amanda's hand takes no time at all to undo the button on Olivia's pants, sliding inside the depths of the material straight to her goal. Both woman releasing a simultaneous moan as Amanda's digits come into contact with Olivia's sopping core.

"You're soaking." Amanda tells Olivia, stating the obvious.

"It's that damn outfit." Olivia half teases, half moans. Choosing to shut up before Amanda decides to stop the movement of her hand.

In desperation, Olivia turns her head to remove Amanda's mouth from her neck, needing her girlfriend's lips against her own, to attempt to stifle the ever-growing volume of her moans. The women's lips finally meeting in an intense lock, Olivia's tongue forcing its way into Amanda's mouth with an incomparable level of need. Their tongues working together in perfect sync.

Amanda's hand slides with skill through Olivia's soaking folds, even in the confined space, her palm coming into direct contact with her aching bundle of nerves with every movement. Quickly pushing her girlfriend towards the ultimate high they both need. Olivia's chest heaving with the intensity of the situation, the exposure of the circumstances not gracing her thoughts for even a second. All coherent thought gone from both SVU detective's minds temporarily.

"'Manda." Olivia chokes out, the tingling of her core indicating she won't hold on much longer but needing to be filled by Amanda's adroit fingers.

"I know." Amanda replies simply with bated breath as she shifted her position to enter her girlfriend heated sheath with three digits, curling them perfectly to hit the required spot before Olivia even had a chance to get used to the welcomed intrusion. Olivia gasping at the feeling of being filled by her girlfriend, her breath almost stopping as Amanda repeatedly hits the spongey flesh inside of her, the blonde's palm pressed directly on her clitoris. Olivia's walls clamp around Amanda's fingers, bringing them to a standstill as the blonde swallows a long drawn out moan. Olivia's orgasm hitting her with a nonpareil force like never before. The overwhelming intensity causing the lieutenant to squirm in her seat, struggling to catch her breath with Amanda's fingers still buried deep inside of her.

"Why haven't we done that before?" Amanda asks between sloppy kisses against Olivia lips as the brunette's breathing slowly returns to normal.

"Because we are cops Amanda and awfully exposed here." Olivia finally manages to rasp.

"True, but you weren't complaining a minute ago." Amanda says with a smirk as she leans back just enough to raise her eyebrow and look at Olivia.

"I'm still not complaining." Olivia tells her girlfriend with a grin. "Especially since you said I wasn't getting laid for a week."

"Oh, you're not." Amanda says, her smirk growing larger on her lips.

"Yeah, we'll see." Olivia tells Amanda, at the same time as Amanda extracts her fingers from her girlfriend core. Olivia shuddering as Amanda purposely brushes against her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Now take me home so I can get out of this damn costume and you can repay the favour." Amanda tells Olivia with mock anger.

"But babe, you look so hot dressed as a banana." Olivia teases.

"Hot Olivia? Seriously?" Amanda huffs before shifting back to her seat, Olivia chuckling at the situation once again.


	10. Chapter 10

No title

500 words

Pretty dark. May be triggering to some. Suicidal thoughts in the first person.

* * *

There was a time, a time when everything was good. I was happy. But those days are gone.

I sit here, consumed with an overwhelming desire to bring everything to an end.

I've screwed up so many things in my life, lost so much. And I've kept on fighting, kept on living. Kept trying my best. But it's never enough. It will never be enough.

The calming sounds of the waves grace my ears as I walk along the seafront, trying to suppress the urge to take a never ending plunge into the icy cold water. To bring the pain to an end. To forget about it all, forevermore.

But what good would that do?

Would it bring back the people I loved and lost? Would it fix the things that happened to me? Would it make it alright? Would anyone even notice? Would anyone be affected by my disappearance?

I guess that's something no one can ever truly know, because once you're gone, you can't possibly know the affect you may have had, or proceed to have on someone's life. Whether past or present. Have I done enough good to outweigh the bad? Never.

Will the good ever outweigh the bad?

Probably not.

Never

I walk along the pier, heading towards the end. The largest drop. The deepest water. The rocks below. The crashing waves.

Stopping I stand and light up a cigarette, tears in my eyes. Taking in the last calming wave of nicotine. Contemplating my options. Live and let go, or just let go.

What is even to live for at this point?

Not much, not much of anything.

Nothing.

The woman I love? She'll probably not even notice I'm gone. I mean, she deserves so much better than I could ever offer her. Of course she does. She deserves the world and more. But I'll never be enough.

Never enough.

I look out over the ocean, taking steadying breaths. My mind, it's made up.

I have to do this, for me. Maybe it's selfish. But I've never been selfish, not once in my entire life. For once, what could it hurt?

What could it hurt to take something for myself for once.

To just let go.

To give up.

Heaven's got a plan for me. Or has it? Is there even a heaven? Or a hell? Or is there just nothing?

Nothing.

It always comes back to nothing.

I flick my cigarette over the edge, watching it descend, falling effortlessly in the wind. Until it hits the water and is extinguished in an instant.

What the hell.

What's the point?

I steel myself for the impending action of taking that one final step over the edge. Of finally making it all stop.

Ending it all.

Stopping the pain.

Forever.

One final deep breath.

I falter momentarily. But it's only for a second. A second before I begin to take the step.

One final look out over the ocean.

One final thought.

Her.

It's always her.

"Amanda."


	11. Chapter 11

Still untitled but carries on from the previous chapter which felt completely unfinished and so, here is the rest.

540 ish words.

Still dark, still trigger warnings for hints at suicide.

* * *

"Amanda"

I turn around at the sound of my name. Wobbling precariously on the edge of the pier. The edge of my life.

It's her, of course it's her.

It's always her.

"Liv, what are you, uh why are you here?" I ask her, frantically swiping the tears away from my face. Unmoving from the edge of my forever.

The waves crash behind me, the spray showering me with a calm I haven't felt in so long. In forever.

I wait. I watch the myriad of emotions play across the face of the woman in front of me. Wondering, waiting, hoping.

Hoping for what I don't know, but hoping all the same. Maybe for a reason? A reason to carry on fighting? To keep pushing on? To keep on living.

To keep on living.

Is that even what I want? Do I want a reason to keep on fighting? To never give up? Do I need someone for that?

I have to do it for myself. If that's what I do indeed want.

To live.

To fight.

To survive.

To prove everyone wrong. To prove I can do this. I am strong. I don't just give up.

Can I? Do I want to?

"Amanda. What are you, what are you doing?" She finally asks, stuttering through the sentence. The emotion on her face finally settle on worry, concern. Concern for me.

I think carefully for a second, contemplating my answer. How do you tell the woman you love you were seconds from plunging to an icy, watery grave?

How does anyone admit that?

"I was, uh, taking a walk." I tell her, skirting around the truth. Loathed to admit the full extent of my own inner turmoil.

I can't do that to her. I can't cause her that pain. No matter my own level of anguish. It's not fair to her.

It's not fair.

"A walk huh?" She asks, her eyebrow raised in disbelief.

I wonder how much she had seen. How much of the lead up to this point she had witnessed.

How much?

My eyes focus on the floor, my fingers toying with the nearly empty pack of cigarettes in my pocket. Unable to meet her probing gaze any longer. Unable to watch the pain I have, I am causing her.

They say the hardest thing to do is let the people you love go. But leaving them behind, it doesn't even compare.

My ghost pulls me apart. I've lost who I am. But I'm holding on. By a slither. By sheer luck.

The luck of her showing up right now.

Why now?

Why?

Can't hide anything. No secrets. The tears in my eyes return full force. It suddenly dawns on me, there's no reason to hide any longer.

She already knows.

She already sees.

She already hurts.

"Amanda. Please." She begs. I look up, seeing mirrored tears in her own chocolate orbs.

Suddenly everything falls into place.

I can't do this.

I can't let go.

I can't end it all.

I can't cause her that pain.

I won't.

"I feel so helpless." I admit quietly. Unsure of my own words. But never giving up.

I can't give up.

"Just let me love you, when your heart is tired."


End file.
